


He Knows If You've Been Bad or Good

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-18
Updated: 2009-01-18
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Holiday fluff and humor





	He Knows If You've Been Bad or Good

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

I pace outside the entrance to Macy’s wondering what to do with what is probably going to be quite the wait. Josh and I are at the mall. Imagine my surprise this morning when he said “Let’s go to the mall. I need to pick up your Christmas present.”

My jaw dropped. First of all, Josh prides himself on having my Christmas present at Thanksgiving. He didn’t get it yet? It’s December! Okay, so it’s not Christmas Eve or anything, but still…

We did some shopping together and then he said we needed to separate so he can get my present.

I’m done with my shopping. I got his present…presents…weeks ago and presents for my family and friends. So if I go into a store, I’ll just buy stuff I don’t need and I’m a girl on a budget after all.

I was hoping this Christmas would be really special. President Bartlet won re-election and Josh FINALLY decided that this whole back and forth thing between us was getting pretty ridiculous. I went on all of one date with Jack Reese when Josh gave me a reason not to go on a second date.

He kissed me.

Josh was the one who helped me get a date with Jack! But he said his conversation with him irked him for a while until he figured out exactly WHY he didn’t want me to date him.

My Josh is sharp as a tack, but sometimes, you know, not so much.

So imagine my surprise now when he comes up to me after a mere 15 minutes smiling proudly.

“Ready?” he grins. He takes my hand, kisses me and we walk away from Macy’s.

“You’re not seriously done.” I say.

“Yes, I am.”

“You said you had to get my present.”

“I did.”

“It took 15 minutes.”

“Yes.”

“15 minutes to buy my Christmas present?”

“There’s a specified time it has to take?” He asks arching his eyebrows.

“This is Classic Josh…um, Josh … did you put any thought into it?” I’m affronted.

“Donnatella, you wound me. Aren’t my gifts always thoughtful?”

Hmm…true. But 15 minutes?

“When I see your gift, I know it’s meant just for you. Sometimes it takes hours or days or weeks of searching. Sometimes it takes 15 minutes. In THIS particular case, I found it back at Thanksgiving and it took me 15 minutes to pick up.” He says matter of factly.

I’m not sure I buy it.

“It had to be engraved or something?”

“I’m not telling. You’re going to have to wait until Christmas like a good little girl.”

“You got one of your presents already.” I pout for good measure.

“Because I’m Jewish and Hanukah is over.” He astutely points out.

“I could make it worth your while.” I lead dropping my voice and his eyebrows shoot up his forehead.

“How?”

“Well,” I say huskily stepping up to him. “I DID get that special Christmas surprise for you from Victoria’s Secret.”

“I’ve already seen you naked. How good is lingerie going to be?”

Shit.

I arch an ‘Oh no you did not’ brow at him and he gulps. He glances off to the side and when he looks back at me, he’s smirking. Curious. I see the tables have turned. I wonder what he has up his sleeve.

“Bribery is against the law.” He smiles.

“What are you going to do? Call the feds?” I challenge saucily.

He smiles widely. I feel like a canary staring into the hungry grin of the cat.

“I’m going to tell.”

What?

I watch confused as he walks away from me. After a second, I of course follow him not paying attention to where he’s going.

“Who’re you going to tell?” I hurry after him. “The President?”

“Nope.”

“My mother!?” I yelp.

“Nuh-uh.” He says and comes to a stop.

“Who?”

He looks pointedly next to us and I finally notice we’re standing on the line of people waiting to get their picture taken with Santa.

“You’re going to tell Santa!?” I shriek incredulously and quite a few people look in our direction. He smiles and steps forward when the line moves. “Joshua. Lyman. I cannot believe you’d stoop so low. And what exactly are you planning on telling Santa?”

“That you’re trying to bribe a government official to find out what your Christmas present is and that he should move you to the bad girl list.”

“It’s a mall Santa, Josh.” I try.

“Santa is everywhere, Donna.” He continues moving up in line. “Even me, who’s Jewish, believes in Santa Claus and I know you do, too. I’m going to tell Santa that despite my best intentions, despite years of precedent of gift creativity, you have lost faith in me. You doubt my ability to pick the perfect gift. You doubt that I will find that one special thing that comes straight from my heart.”

Damn. He’s laying it on pretty thick here. I wonder if I’ve really offended him? We’re next in line now and he turns around to face me.

“I have found my one true love the ultimate sign of my devotion to her. And I’ll tell you something else, yes, I picked it up today, but when I bought it, it took all of about 30 seconds to know it was meant just for you.”

“You’re not even carrying a bag.” I point out.

“I can’t risk you seeing what store it’s from.”

The people in front of us move away from Santa and it’s our turn. Santa and his elf helpers look at us expectantly. They don’t seem too surprised to see us here. I wonder if they get adults often…and bickering ones to boot.

Josh grabs my hand and drags me up to Santa who smiles and chuckles his big “Ho! Ho! Ho!” and pats a knee for me.

Pervert old man.

I look over at Josh who has taken a seat on Santa’s other knee. I can’t believe we’re doing this. We’re going to put this poor guy in the hospital. All he wants to do is make a few extra bucks during the holidays.

I sigh and take a knee.

“What brings you here, young lady?” Santa asks.

“My boyfriend here wants a picture taken evidently.” I drone.

“Ah, ah, ah, Donnatella.” Josh says. “You better watch out. Santa knows when you’re being bad. Tell the truth.”

I cross my arms and pout. This whole thing is ridiculous.

“Fine. I’ll do it. And you should stop pouting because Santa doesn’t like it.” Josh says. “Santa, my sweet love here was trying to bribe me into telling her what I got her for Christmas. To make matters worse, I work for the federal government, and so does she, it should be noted.”

“Hmm…” Santa says deeply. “That’s very serious, Josh.”

“This is what I’m saying.” Josh replies.

Please. This whole thing is beyond…

Wait a minute.

Stop the sleigh ride.

How did Santa know Josh’s name?

“How does Santa know your name?” I ask.

“I know all the good girls and boys’ names, Donna.” Santa replies. “I’m Santa Claus.”

“This is a set up!” I say. Josh shrugs. “It’s a sting operation and Santa’s a co-conspirator!”

“You better tell her, Josh.” Santa said. “If she gets any louder, mall security is going to come and land you both on the naughty list.”

“Good tip. Thanks, Santa.” Josh says.

He reaches into his coat and pulls out…

Oh my God.

Holy cow!

….a little black velvet jewelry box.

Calm down, Donna. It could be earrings.

Diamond earrings.

Maybe emerald earrings.

Earrings come in the same size box.

He flips the box open and my breathing stops. However, my tear ducts have no problems working at all.

“I saw it a few weeks ago, but it had to be sized.” He says. It’s the most beautiful platinum diamond ring I’ve ever seen. If I had my choice of any ring in the entire mall, I’m sure without a doubt, this is the one I’d pick.

“Will you marry me, Donna?” He asks as he’s sliding the ring onto my finger. He already knows the answer.

No frilly romantic words. Right to the point and straight from his heart. That’s my Joshua.

I nod, still crying, and take his face in my hands and kiss him silly.

I just got engaged.

On Santa’s lap.

God I love this man!

Josh; not Santa.

“What do you think of my Christmas presents now?” he smirks.

“I will never doubt again.” I whisper.

“There will not be a need.” He replies.

THE END


End file.
